Janice Campbell is a licensed Unity teacher, writer and speaker. She is host of the Unity Online Radio program, Receive Your Life.

 

How do you know when it's time to forgive? You feel it. You're constricted, angry or frustrated. You sense that someone or something is against you. It's that overall feeling of powerlessness. The feeling may come as a blast or it may have been smoldering for years.

When the topic of forgiveness is raised there's usually resistance and defensiveness. “You expect me to do what?” “You couldn't possibly understand what I've been through.” You may feel that by not forgiving you're protecting yourself from even more pain. I recently read an article that stated people would not make changes in their life unless they could see how the change would be to their benefit. From my experience in working with people through the years, I have experienced firsthand the high level of integrity people have. They will not make the lesser choice. However, once people see and understand a greater possibility, they gravitate toward that.  

Even if you feel justified in not forgiving it's still very painful. You want a way through, but it looks like you'd be losing too much. Or maybe you tell yourself I should forgive. I'll be a bad or unspiritual person if I can't forgive. I think that's the extreme difficulty with forgiveness. Often we expect ourselves to jump to forgiveness before we're really able to forgive. Forgiveness follows a process; it's not something we can wish into existence, it's a place we arrive at through the unfoldment of our consciousness.

Listed below is a three-step process you can use to forgive and free yourself:

Step 1—Understanding
Before you can gain spiritual understanding you must have clarity. Clarity comes from quieting your mind. Imagine stepping into another room where you can close the door and rest in the living spirit of Truth.

In the privacy of your inner consciousness ask, “Why is this situation so painful for me? What do I feel I lost or what am I afraid I will lose?” Struggling to forgive usually begins by blaming someone or something for your pain. If only the situation were different, you would feel better. It's their fault you're sad, angry, sick, lonely or broke. You will always be able to find people to agree with you that you've been wronged and that someone else is to blame for your current state of mind, but that limits your freedom. Right now in the silence ask to have revealed to you those places in your consciousness where you have drifted away from the Truth of what you are.

Step 2—Compassion
Once you have an understanding of the thoughts that may be blocking your energy, compassion follows. You are able to see why a particular situation was so painful for you. You may have been afraid of losing love, security, peace, connection, health or prosperity. Yet with spiritual understanding comes a remembrance that you are these spiritual attributes and they can never be taken from you. Having compassion for why you have been hanging on to resentment or have been unable to forgive provides an ability to “loosen your grip.”

If you berate yourself for not being able to forgive, you'll stay stuck. Forgiveness is an organic process of understanding and compassion and it must be done at your own pace. The greater understanding you gain, the more compassion you will have for yourself and others.

Step 3—Forgiveness
The third step in this process is somewhat of a paradox. Once the limiting thoughts are transcended through understanding and compassion, you will realize there is nothing left to forgive. Eric Butterworth in his book Discover the Power Within You talks about how God doesn't forgive because in the Mind of God there is nothing to forgive.

Just like the trapeze artist releasing one bar in order to grasp another you have the power within you to release your fearful thoughts and claim your good.

 

 

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