By David E. Nelson, D.Min.
I lived the first decade of my life in a small town in South Central Nebraska. I thought that everyone shared a home with a Mom and Dad and couple of siblings. I assumed that everyone took a bath on Saturday night and got dressed up on Sunday morning and went to a church. It seemed logical to me that everyone celebrated Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. Everyone dressed pretty much the same, influenced by the rural lifestyle that dominated our space. My family insisted that I become aware of the world outside our village, but it was usually through pictures and stories, not the real thing. My world was quite small and very comfortable. I was happy and surrounded with people who were happy.
Today I live in a city of a million and a half. We have neighborhoods that reflect the energy and culture of every continent. I am part of an Interfaith Council that recognizes and celebrates 15 different world religions that have significant membership in our area. I can't imagine a quality life without my human family members of a rich variety of language and ethnic heritages.
This place is not better (or worse) than the small town where I first lived. But it is more like the world in which most of the citizens and residence of the USA now live. Diversity is a reality. What we do with it is a choice. I choose to celebrate it and to nurture it in as positive direction as possible.
Assumptions are choices we can make about how to see and experience our world. The assumptions we choose will determine the world we live in. Let me illustrate. Assumption: “In every culture, religion and community something works. What we pay attention to becomes our reality.”
It is just as accurate to embrace the assumption that "in every culture, religion and community something doesn't work." By embracing the first assumption, I am intentionally focusing my attention on what is good, what works, and what will add to the value of community.
In the workplace and in the neighborhood diversity is a reality. Celebrating the gifts of pluralism is a choice. The choice works for me. I can't begin to tell you the great joy I have discovered in the relationships that have developed in my life as I have developed friendships with people whose reality is quite different than mine.
Ahmed has taught me how precious his Muslim faith is in a disciplined life. Sheila has introduced me to the wonders of Judaism in the rituals of home and family. Tyler challenges me with his stories of family life in a Mormon home. Sonny enlightens me each week with provocative conversations at a local McDonald's filled with African Americans. Juan shares his stories from his Hispanic world that light up my hope for the entire world. Robert entertains me with his ancient myths from the Nordic tradition that give new meaning to the way we engage each other today.
These friends have given me amazing gifts that move my life forward. We share stories and listen to each other with respect, and we all evolve to a deeper respect for each other and ourselves. I have appreciated the evolutionary progression that has made this possible.
Connection →Conversation →Cooperation →Community
We begin with a willingness to connect in a respectful way. Rather than beginning with suspicion, we begin with openness and curiosity. In each of the cases I mention above, I have read or experienced stories that felt threatening. There are beliefs and practices of some members of each of the communities these friends represent that do not add value to the community in which I live. But individuals are individuals and I refuse to judge a group by the inappropriate actions of a few.
Our conversations are filled with sharing of stories rather that pontificating of dogma and "truths." As we talk and listen, we are intentionally listening for new truths that can add value to each other. The art of really listening takes practice, but it is well worth the effort. I cannot deny another person's experience and the other cannot deny mine. Stories humanize each of us and invite deeper relationships that attract rather than deter friendship.
We cooperate in our work, our play, and in making meaning in our lives. While working together in offices, neighborhoods, communities, organizations and sports, I have discovered I even like myself better. These friends fill my world with diversity and excitement. They expand my vision for the sacred and the deeply human and for that I rejoice. It takes some effort to span the differences, but it is always worth the effort.
The result is a community that pulls us to the future with hope and promise. Our Interfaith Council is nurturing our greater community to be the most welcoming place in the world. I know that is a big vision, but we are worth big visions. Together we can face the difficult events, the unknown economic challenges, even the threats of crime and terrorism. When we are in this together, the problems do not seem as big or as powerful.
Celebrating the gifts of pluralism is a challenge. I do believe, however, that it comes naturally to members of the human race. We have to be taught and conditioned to mistrust or hate. Our innate nature is to trust and love. The children I know have taught me about curiosity and honesty, even to the point of embarrassment at times. “Why is that man so dark?” “What is the funny dress he is wearing?” “Why won't she play with me?” “Why don't they have a Christmas tree?” Children are great teachers as they ponder the diversity that surrounds us. I am a fun person to hang out with, but I can't imagine anything more boring than only being with people just like me. I seek to maintain that childlike quality as I explore the people in my world. It is great world to live in and a great time to be alive.
Dr. David Nelson is part of the movement for human liberation and is a member of the Greater Kansas City Interfaith Council. Nelson's organization, The Human Agenda, provides resources and coaching for people and organizations to claim their full human potential. He is a notable personal coach, motivational speaker, consultant and trainer.
