QUESTION: What if it is not God's will to bring my ex-husband back to me and our five girls? It has been two years since he left. We went to court in Dec 09 but have received no judge ruling as of date. I pray God is doing all He can to turn David back. But what if God does not grant restoration? What if He is not able to reach David and save him? David has so many evil ways and I have prayed for 21 years for God to work on him. Am I to live a life of earthly loneliness and be single the rest of my life?
COMMENT: Let's look at one of the most commonly cited passage from the Gospels on the question of divorce. This is from Mark 10:2-12.
PASSAGE: "Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?' He answered them, 'What did Moses command you?' They said, 'Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.' But Jesus said to them 'Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one put asunder.' Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery'" (Mark 10:2-12).
COMMENT: This is, indeed, a challenging passage in the context of Jesus' overall message of love and nonjudgment. There seem to be several different themes being expressed. First of all, Jesus is denying the absolute authority of the law as recorded in the name of Moses—the extensive legal code set down in Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers. That code allowed men to divorce their wives, but did not allow wives to divorce their husbands. Jesus notes that this law was formulated "because of your hardness of heart." In other words, it was a human misinterpretation of spiritual law. To align with spiritual law we must go back to the loving Source. So we have a key distinction between marriage laws crafted by men and the loving and creative Law of God in which true unity is attained.
The important distinction here, I think, is "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." If a union is truly of God—if a commitment is wholeheartedly spiritual—then nothing we may do on the mortal plane can affect it. But clearly not every marriage is joined together by God. Some are entered into out for a variety of human reasons, and it may become clear that there is no spiritual union. In such a case, to remain in the relationship for the sake of human laws may be damaging to the spiritual paths and purpose of both people involved. It is, Jesus insists, "what God has joined together" that matters. And it is the Presence of God in you that can provide clarity in a challenging situation.
You are certainly not meant to live a life of loneliness. But you are powerless over the choices others make. The only true peace lies in embracing the loving power of the Christ within you, and allowing that Christ Presence to draw to you those who can join you and support you on your spiritual journey.